Writing about music has always been a pleasure for me. It is my way of escaping everyday hassle, when you can forget about the outside world and concentrate on the beautiful music, sonic landscape or artsy lyrics. Sadly, from time to time, I need to write about topics that I would rather not speak about – murders, rapes, sexual assaults or violence that women and children suffer at the hands of men. Picking up topics such as those, when you are a survivor of domestic violence, can be triggering but it is needed – voices that condemn the unprecedented scale of misogyny we face today have to be loud and they have to be heard.
We are very lucky to have Delilah Bon to highlight what we all feel – our rage and disappointment at the state of things. And if you think that the situation got better since the murder of Sarah Everard, you will be very mistaken.
Single cover
After I reviewed Delilah’s “Dead Men Don’t Rape” single last year, a song that was partially inspired by the kidnapping and subsequent murder of Everald by then serving MET police officer Wayne Couzens, I was met with almost universal condemnation from males. It wasn’t only my personal friends who were outraged but also people with whom I professionally work – band managers, artists, bookers. Some of them vowed never to work with me again, some blocked me on social media. Others offered me “a valuable advice” to stop before my reputation is ruined. I was also told that parts of the review and the comments I make online, are often screenshotted and shared among industry professionals. Those comments are usually calling out everyday sexism, toxic masculinity, racism, transphobia and Brexit.
I’m not at all surprised. My experiences are exactly the same as those of other women who proudly and loudly voice their opinions. None of the men that contacted me, were outraged by the abused and dead women, they were offended by the title, my review and Delilah’s track. They accused me of painting all males to be rapists and murderers, being a misandrist, eugenist and even trying to ruin lives. Nobody and I mean, not a single man took the time to think why the song was written in the first place. They were angry that I was angry.
They are right. I’m not only angry. I’m fucking furious. We know, it is not all men. But it is all women and that is our point. Every woman I know has experiences of male inflicted violence, abuse and sexual harassment. We are frustrated, tired and fed up. We have been for a very long time. In the review, I wrote that sexual assaults reports were at the highest numbers ever yet the convictions for rapes fell in the last decade to the lowest levels on record. Victims are routinely not believed, often threatened and revictimized by invasive and prolonged procedures such as asking for therapy notes, personal devices (phones and computers) or medical records. Women have lost their faith in the justice system and do not trust the police.
Nothing I wrote back then was taken onboard by the male readers. Luckily, I received a lot of support and understanding from other women. They knew exactly what I was describing. From their own experiences.
“Dead Men Don’t Rape” came out in July 2022 and since then, the police force in the UK has been under increased public scrutiny. Thousands of officers accused of rapes and sexual misconducts are still on active duty and police officer David Carrick was revealed to be one of the biggest sexual predator in the history of British legal system.
As I’m writing these words, he has been sentenced to 32 years of imprisonment yet the judge hasn’t seen the need to impose a mandatory life sentence without the possibility of an early release despite the trial being so difficult that “a significant amount of the harrowing detail of the case has not been reported by the media for reasons of taste” to quote The Guardian.
Alternative cover
Well, if somebody was offended by “Dead Men Don’t Rape” review, they should be outraged now. Delilah’s new song “I Wish A Bitch Would” was released on February the 3rd and is as uncompromising and unyielding as her previous track. It deals with victims’ overwhelming feelings of hatred against their abusers and their wish to fight back, sometimes as brutally as possible.
The fantasy of retaliation against those that have harmed us is a real psychological trait. A beautifully written explanation can be found online at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/being-your-best-self/202104/the-intrigue-revenge-fantasies
We all have a natural need for justice, it is what psychologists call our inbuild moral compass. In the most simplified version – every injustice, all wrongdoings should be righted. If they are not, we are left with feelings of sadness, anger and bitterness. Victims of domestic and sexual violence are twice as likely to suffer from PTSD as the victims of other crimes and because of the magnitude of their traumas, their need for retaliation can be overwhelming. Those severe feelings sometimes manifest in actual violence with victims harming or even killing their abusers.
“I Wish A Bitch Would” is written from the perspective of a woman who wishes that somebody would actually hold the abusers, rapists and murderers to account. As so many of them slip through the net of criminal prosecutions and are never charged, the victims suffer without closure. In this context, “the Bitch” comes as a rescuer, some sort of an avenging angel who would protect and punish those guilty of the hideous crimes. The song is meant to be violent as the emotions the victims feel are often extreme. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth – the Bitch sounds almost biblical. The same amount of violence and pain inflicted on others will now be served back. The methods will be as harsh as the actions of the perpetrator. She may not have the shining armour or the light sword carried by the God’s emissaries from the Old Testament but a heavy boot might be involved.
As Delilah raps – this fantasy, this song is to bring some release. If there are no real protectors, then at least this imaginary woman would stand up and fight. Not every hero wears a cape, but some could possibly carry baseball bats. As extreme as it may sound, such fantasies are perfectly normal and often help victims to process their feelings and heal, even if just a little bit.
Of course, not everyone will understand or will want to understand what Delilah had in mind. Judging from the comments, some will again accuse her of ill will, wanting to kill all men or being prejudiced against them. They will shout that men are the real victims, all feminists being man-hating, violence obsessed sluts. Some men already started picking up fights – they reported Delilah to Twitter and she no longer can comment. Yet the response from girls and women is enthusiastic. We know exactly what she wanted to say. We have the same thoughts. We often dream that somebody could finally take revenge. Be it bloody and harrowing, but at least deserved.
The track stands at 3 minutes and 26 seconds. In just 4 days, it gathered more than 30k plays on Spotify and 6k spins on YouTube. Genre wise, it is a heavy rock/metal with screamo choruses and rap vocals. It will help you burn off some steam and tension at the gym. But what’s most important, it will again help to make our voices stronger. It will give confidence to girls and guys (the song is not only mentioning female victims!) who lack the courage to speak up. It will empower the victims to come forward and report what happened to them. It will help the youngest and the most vulnerable to believe in themselves.
Women may have lost their faith in the police and judges but they haven’t lost their faith in themselves. And this is what Delilah is trying to say. Believe the victims, stand with them, take comfort in other women – together we are unstoppable.
Please follow Delilah at:
https://www.delilahbon.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/delilahbonofficial/
https://www.facebook.com/DelilahBon
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5JUFYlgwsbqpLcU9TMlsve
https://twitter.com/DelilahBon_
https://soundcloud.com/delilahbon
https://www.youtube.com/c/DelilahBon
https://www.tiktok.com/@delilahbon
Rita Dabrowicz
Indieterria 
Thank you for this article! First, let me 10000% agree that it’s a tragedy that this song ever had to be written. I’m a 39 y/o white male with about as much privilege as anyone could have been born into, so take my opinion for what it’s worth, but I specifically searched for a review of this song because it was so impactful to me. Delilah’s lyrics and her delivery made me feel the rage and the pent up powerlessness that I feel every time I hear of someone being abused, raped, murdered at the hands of men who should be allies, supporters, brothers, empowering and supporting the women in their lives. The role reversal and the opening of the floodgates of justice, the erasure of the aggressor, the fury of the avenging angel…everyone needs to digest this song and fall in line. To your point about our inborn moral compass – I cannot understand how you’ve gotten such responses from the male community, but I am tragically not surprised. Know that there are those of us who stand with you, publicly, with our real names and our faces exposed, but in the presence of other men, and in the face of more numerous opposition. Delilah is the Bitch, YOU are the Bitch. I want to be the Bitch too.
Never stop writing, never stop speaking out.
P.S. – You would probably enjoy Scene Queen, you should check her out if you haven’t before. I’ve also been listening to a lot of Halestorm lately, because Lzzy Hale is just such an addictive powerhouse.
– Dustin