Delilah Bon – Dead Men Don’t Rape Single Review

Honestly, we wish we never had to review this song. We wish Delilah Bon never had to write this. We wish women were treated with dignity and respect. We wish none of us would have been assaulted, raped, beaten and murdered. Yet, this is a wishful thinking. The reality for many of us is this: cat calling and sexual abuse starting at 10 years old or even earlier. Whatever we wear, even a burqa, we are called names. We can’t get out of the house not to be objectified, humiliated, judged, threatened and abused. Our bodies and choices are scrutinized, politicized, we are denied basic human rights.

Women are half of Earth’s entire population, yet we are made feel like slaves, third class citizens. Inanimate objects such as guns have more rights that we do. We are murdered, jailed, beaten, raped. We are not believed when the horrible things happen. Our abusers are defended, sheltered, protected. We are not safe on the Internet either. In short, there is a full war on women going on in the world, yet men are deaf, blind and more often deliberately oblivious to it.

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A new single by the amazing Delilah Bon came out today. Before we move to review it, we would like to say few words. On Monday, an all-male band sent us their new song to review. The PR made our hair stand out on ends. This was a song about a rape of a female of colour. Written by a white guy. The cover depicted said woman, an icon of rhythm and blues, in less than a flattering light. The opening lines of the press release repeated the word “rape” several times. Frankly, it made us feel sick. Then it made us angry. How do you even respond to a press release like this? There was no warning included in the email – just blatant: here you go, we wrote a tune about a raped woman, enjoy.

Malicia and I are survivor of domestic abuse. I have been beaten and had my arm broken when I was barely 24 by somebody who love bombed me to secure a relationship. Then he abused me for 5 years. He was 16 years older than me. I was left wounded in a different country, on my own and if it wasn’t for a young German girl named Sabrina who took me to hospital and lent me money for a ticket home, I don’t know what would have happened to me. Malicia is a survivor of rape. It left her with an ectopic pregnancy on Malta, where abortion is illegal. There are no exemptions – even in case where woman’s life is endangered. Also, Malta doesn’t recognize spousal rape at all, something like this doesn’t exist in their lawmakers’ imagination. She could not take her abuser to court. The outcome of this is a major depression and complex PTSD.

You may ask why we decided to write such personal details in a public article and the answer is because we MUST. What happened to us is not some tragic anomaly, a rare event or some unheard-of rarity. This is what happens to majority of females. If you care for some statistics, WHO has the details – globally, 1 woman out of 3 will experience violence during her lifetime, 1 out of 4 will have the violence inflicted upon her by a family member or an intimate partner. Younger women are the most at risk.

You can read this depressing report here: https://www.who.int/news/item/09-03-2021-devastatingly-pervasive-1-in-3-women-globally-experience-violence

In the UK, only 1.5% of rape cases and 3.6% of cases of sexual assault are ending in citation or court sentence. The average waiting time for a court case is about 2-3 years. Because of this and the horribly invasive police procedures (where victims’ phones and computers are often confiscated and even employers are informed about the rape!!) 45% of victims remove their complaints, that number for bigger cities such as London is higher at 75%.

Even more depressing read here: https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/EVAW-snapshot-report-FINAL-020322.pdf

Domestic violence is a gendered crime. 79% of all victims of domestic violence are female. Two females are murdered every week in this country. Sexual assaults reports are raising by 6% each year on average, calls and reports to anti-abuse charities and victims’ helplines are up by 40% since before the pandemic.

Those shocking statistic make headlines at least once every day: https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/domestic-abuse-is-a-gendered-crime/

Despite the facts and statistics, our far-right government doesn’t do much to improve this situation. The cuts to family, refuge and women services are brutal – Woman’s Aid estimates that more than £200 million are missing from this year’s budget to help to support female and children affected by violence. Everything is in demand – we need more shelters, more educations, more workforce. Nothing solid materialized yet only more empty promises.

Things were already bad and then came the overturning of Roe vs Wade. 5 judges, that I can only regard them as being Christian extremists, took the constitutional right to abortion away from 166 million of women. That’s 50% of entire population of the United States. HALF A POPULATION can no longer decide if they want to have an abortion or not. 22 states introduced harsh local laws that prevents abortion in case of rape, incest or when the woman life is at stake. This laws predominately affect poor and women of colour. Some women will have to travel more than 2000 km to the nearest clinic. This is not something that should be happening in 2022. This is barbarism and torture. This is insane.

As every woman, me and Malicia are outraged. Not only our native Poland is blindly following what the Republican party is doing in the US, we also have the strictest anti-abortion laws in Europe right behind Malta! 24 countries in the world have a total ban on abortion. Two are European!! That’s Malta and San Marino. Nearly 2 billion women globally have no access to safe abortion, 97% of females live in  developing countries. That’s, again grim statistics, 13% of all female deaths in the world are linked to unsafe abortions. I have no idea how many women’s lives could have been saved if the procedures were legally obtainable – those deaths are PREVENTABLE!
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/abortion

Honestly, the more I type, the angrier I become. Abortion is not a murder, women who undergo abortion do not suffer from any traumas, few regret their choice, many speak about relief. This is about control over females, our bodies, our choice when and with whom we procreate. This is only about male control over us and it is infuriating. Those who advocate for anti-abortion laws have blood on their hands – women will be dying without access to safe abortions. Abortions will not end; they will simply go underground.

That’s why having song such as “Dead Men Don’t Rape” is important. Young generation of women are fed up with patriarchy, misogyny and rape culture. They have enough of being objectified and sick of being told their security and wellbeing do not matter. And where rock music and anger meet, there will be fire. In the 90’s, we had Donita Sparks throwing her used tampon at rowdy crowd at Reading Festival in response to sexual remarks. Today, we have Delilah Bon (and others) to tell men who don’t respect females, where to take their medieval attitude and where to shove it so it hurt.

“Dead Men Don’t Rape” is a protest song against everything that’s been happening in politics in the last few months. It plainly tells what women think about taking our rights to abortion away. It says in plain English so everyone can understand – women will die because of your rotten, conservative policies. The song screams loud enough so all the dudes in the back can finally get it – hands off our bodies, they do not belong to you but to us. Woman is not just a body, but a somebody. A human being with feelings, intellect, skills and a will to survive.

And despite all the darkness and horror, there is always hope. The more you push your extremist agenda, the more you want to control us, the more we will defy and resist you. We will be louder, bolder, many more women will come out to share their stories with others. They will protect and support other women.

We will also vote to change the law, so it protects transmen and trans females from your hate and scaremongering as well. We will stand with them.

If you want to live in the dark ages, please feel free to do so, but do not drag the rest of the world to hell with you. We are not going, so fuck you very much and do not come back.

If this song offends you, if you feel threatened by it, good. It is meant to hurt your feelings; it intends to give you a proper roundhouse kick to the face. Well behaved women seldom make history and Delilah Bon makes history today. She is a leading voice of young women in British rock music. You better listen to her as she is not gonna repeat herself again.

Enough is enough.

Follow Delilah Bon on social media at:
https://www.delilahbon.co.uk/
https://www.instagram.com/delilahbonofficial/
https://www.facebook.com/DelilahBon
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5JUFYlgwsbqpLcU9TMlsve
https://twitter.com/DelilahBon_
https://soundcloud.com/delilahbon
https://www.youtube.com/c/DelilahBon
https://www.tiktok.com/@delilahbon

Rita Dabrowicz

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