I hate panic attacks because I have experienced them for most part of my life. Firstly, as a queer kid growing up in a socially conservative and a deprived mining village. Then, as an adult living with complex PTSD. It`s hard to describe what a panic attack even looks like – as they are not always the same. The best definition I can offer is being thrown into a tornado of chaos, sounds and lights, coupled with severe vertigo and stomach pain. You barely know what your name is or where you are, your heart and thoughts are racing and you are confused, scared and terribly alone. Ever wondered how a panic attack would sound if it was translated to music? Well here comes Chaidura with a genuinely decent attempt.
Single cover – photo by Four Walls and a Door (Lee)
However, I can’t hate the new single from my favourite Visual Kei artist. Quite the contrary, I am absolutely in awe that somebody can create such a phenomenal cacophony of sounds and make it look like the best thing in the world since cheesy toast with a barbecue sauce.
New offering from Chaidura is one of the heaviest tracks in his repertoire, something to stand proudly next to previous hard hitters “Menace” and “Ante Meus”. Growls and inhumane shrieks seem to be in the very centre of the track, emboldened by an ever changing musical landscape. Chaidura doesn’t hide his admiration for Bring Me the Horizon but this is much closer to what early Dir En Gray or Desecravity have been doing (or even Gallhammer, if you feel blasphemous enough). While you concentrate on the vocal side, in the background there`s a parade of genres – from techno to black metal, samples, loops and even AI generated voice. I am not a fan of AI, the same way I am not fond of autotune but you have to give Chai the benefit of the doubt. He will use any tool at his disposal to sow musical chaos and mayhem. You may also think of it as his own commentary on where art and technology are taking music as a form of expression.
“If you listen carefully there are many vocal layers in the song” – says Chaidura – “The main one is manic laughing, but there’s also singing “lalalala” like a little child and the chanting. I thought this was super representative of a panic attack and what goes on in my brain.”
“Panic Man” is a third instalment in the story of a young woman, told via songs and videos, who seeks salvation after being possessed by a demon and committing a heinous crime. It may be a whole concept behind new EP “Temple Paradise” that will be out this summer. For the purpose of this review, lets call the story `Ellie Monogatari`.
Chaidura`s previous single “Basilisk” introduced the audience to the main protagonist as she was living with her abusive partner in an old Victorian terrace house inhabited by a malevolent spirit/demon. The supernatural entity whispered into Ellie`s ear until she broke down and grabbed a knife during an argument. Following up single “The Light” found Ellie on the run, assumingly from the police, but also from herself and what she had done. She took a refugee in an abandoned hangar but the spirit followed her there and the two began a conversation. At first there seemed to be a genuine understanding between them, however as soon as Ellie managed to get her hands on another weapon she unleashed her fury at her strange companion, brandishing a blade to their chest. “Panic Man”, in a truly David Lynch manner, brings Ellie and the demon into an old cemetery, where reality and fever dreams blur together and the two begin to merge in a way. Fans of Twin Peaks will recognize Bob -wanting -to-be-Laura Palmer dynamic. Kudos to Chaidura to actually bring a bit of horror element to his video!
So far it is hard to say why the entity chose to haunt Ellie or what their connection is. The spirit is changing its appearance – from that of an impeccably dressed young man to a pale-faced phantom to a grotesquely deformed demon. He switched between the need to be loved and his uncomfortable desire to wreak destruction. Partly inspired by Kamui Shiro, main character of CLAMP`s X/1999 manga, partly a strange homage to Gaiman`s Dream in the Sandman series, he retains elements of Asian mythology and a very European take on the residents of hell, such as Shedim. He is the yin to Ellie`s yang, an opposite and yet complementary force. It makes me wonder if Ellie should be regarded as an esper (a person with sixth sense, able to see supernatural beings and the paranormal) or rather as an onmyōji (priest or diviner responsible in Asian culture for predicting good fortune and contact with spirits).
Chaidura photo by Four Walls and a Door (Lee)
As a protagonist of the story, Ellie is as mysterious as the demon that is connected to her. But what is truly obvious is the talent of Ellie Harrison, the actress who portrays the lead character. Taking part in a multimedia project over a course of half a year (and it is not yet finished) would be a major challenge for seasoned performers. Less alone sharing so much of a creative workload as Miss Harrison flawlessly executes by being in the videos and photo sessions, organizing multiple costume and make up changes, additionally to being involved in the development of the story line, promotion online and self-directing her own acting. The running time of all three videos to date is over 10 minutes of varied footage with three locations, which frankly constitutes a short movie.
In my time spent in the alternative scenes, various fandoms and manga/anime circles over the last thirty years I have met maybe a handful of young people who could pull this off and one of them just got promoted to position of a creative director of a Polish largest literary festival. So not to put a pressure on Ellie here but let me say that it is a privilege to be able to witness such an incredibly gifted young actress.
Ellie Harrison as the mysterious protagonist of the entire series, photo by by Four Walls and a Door (Lee)
“Panic Man” was directed and edited by Chaidura himself and filmed by the faithful crew who overseen the production of two previous installment: Sorin D Visuals (Sorin Diaconescu) and four.walls.and.a.door (Leah Charis Cox). The amount of unique talent that has gathered around Temple Paradise is a marvel, a true testament to the abilities of young people in the creative industries that have been so badly damaged by politicians and lack of funding.
Completely on the sidelines, it would be worth exploring the idea of submitting some of the videos made so far in the series to film festivals, even local ones. Each film festival has a category for music videos, so why not try?
One thing is for certain, Chai is an exceptional figure on local music scene and if you pride yourself on knowing art that will change the world (even if in a small way), then you should give “Panic Man” a listen. I cannot forget to mention producer and engineer Alex Copp (As December Falls, Frank Carter & The RattleSnakes) who has been working with Chaidura on several releases now and does absolute magic. It`s a partnership made in heaven (or at least in the Black Lodge).
You can follow Chaidura on socials:
https://www.facebook.com/chaiduraofficial
https://www.instagram.com/chaidura_
https://www.tiktok.com/@chaidura
https://soundcloud.com/chaidura
https://www.youtube.com/@chaidura
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5G44MxEPEbE3JMDz1azv9N
Our previous coverage:
https://vanadianavenue.co.uk/2023/11/16/chaidura-basilisk-single-review/
https://vanadianavenue.co.uk/2023/12/15/indieterria-meets-chaidura/
Malicia Dabrowicz
Indieterria 
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